Fragile Balls Handle With Care - Unisex Sweatshirt michigan Teddy Roosevelt already looked like

Teddy Roosevelt already looked like a guy two bourbons into explaining why he could beat up every other president

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Naming a fake beer after him is less a joke and more a historically accurate label

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Fundraising for a clock nobody wants fixed is peak small-town energy until that exact minute becomes the most important timestamp in temporal mechanics

Fragile Balls Handle With Care - Unisex Sweatshirt michigan Teddy Roosevelt already looked likeFragile balls requiring careful handling is either a Christmas ornament label or a very honest urology brochure. December just happens to be the one month both interpretations get equal airtime. The Details: Arched golden tan serif text reads "FRAGILE BALLS" above green pine branches with two hanging ornaments, one red orange and one golden yellow, suspended from dark caps and hooks. A scalloped border frames the bottom text reading "HANDLE WITH